Relationships - Beverly Ennis Hoyle

The Slow Walk Before Waking Up

Beverly — Tue, 13 Jun 2023 04:18:12 +0000

There is a walk each one of us must take, a journey we are all on together, walking separately, but together and it’s called life. We can listen to others tell about their trials and tribulations and while some have miraculous stories, others share stories that resonate on some level with all of us, and then there are stories of life that hit home, and we feel the other person’s joy or their pain because of similar experiences. Knowing you’re not alone and knowing others have had similar trials, then pulled themselves up, and thrived…gives each of us not only hope but empowers us as we move through our own storm. I’m going to tell my story over the next few months in small blog posts in hopes that someone will read my words one day and it will help them if they are going through something similar. A year ago, I let all of my subscribers know that I was going through a difficult season with my marriage. The outpouring of support was overwhelming, and you gave me hope for a brighter day. You were the gentle push that I needed to keep me going and not give up. I went from posting on the blog at least 5 times a week to barely posting once or twice a week, and through it all, you girls are still here and still encouraging me, and I am so thankful! It Takes Two Let me start off by saying that I’m not perfect. It takes two to tango in a relationship and let’s face facts…we all know there are two sides to every story. I’m sure the other person in this story, has an entirely different viewpoint than I do, which we all would expect…right? I did ask my estranged husband if I could write about our relationship in hopes that it might help others and he said he didn’t see how our story could help anyone, but nonetheless, he said yes, so here we go. The Slow Walk A Year Before… The end of the relationship was the beginning of it. If you read this post, then you know a little about how everything got started. In today’s post, I am going to share a little about the year before I decided to end the marriage. As women, we are more tuned into our feelings and know when something is off in our relationships. In the summer of 2021, I was getting that feeling…something was off, there was a void, and it seemed like there was a huge divide in the marriage. I was feeling like I was observing my life as an onlooker and my eyes were slowly opening to my reality and realizing I had been living in a fantasy for well over a decade. And I’m just gonna throw this out there…when you start waking up like that, everything in your life changes, and reality is coming in hot. I had sunk into a depression, I had nearly become a recluse, and the only thing I worried about was the man that I loved so dearly. If you were outside looking in, you would think we had the perfect marriage, the cutest couple on the block, always hugging and holding hands…just a normal couple. But we were not and I didn’t even know it, but I was starting to open my eyes and see truth staring back at me. He was becoming distant and so was I; there were hardly any texts or calls between us…some people would say that we were in a rut. But we weren’t in a rut – the discard stage was starting. By Christmas, I felt like I was an invisible object, and any joy, laughter, or happiness that I once had, had been slowly sucked out of me. It was like watching a bright lightbulb slowly go dim until there was no light left. And that lightbulb had been flickering on and off consistently over an extended period of time, and all my family saw it except for me. At this point, my brother stepped in and had a sit-down talk with me trying to open my eyes wider. But in my mind, I thought everything would work itself out because that was what we did. That was our relationship. Life had been tough on him. He didn’t know how to show affection and had a hard time sharing his emotions. In fact, not once in 12 years were we able to have a discussion and come to a resolution that we both agreed on. It was filled with hot then cold moments, periods of highs then periods of lows that rotated on a daily or weekly cycle…and I knew that my job had become the one who was the “fixer”. I became an expert in apologizing for any and everything, whether I was at fault or not…because it was my job. I had been slowly cultivated to accept this to be the norm, and I willingly did it, because that had become my job. Over the years, I learned how to let things go, not ask questions, let him live his life, and never say a word; I learned to just “be there” when I was needed. Again, this is my opinion from my viewpoint, I am sure the other person involved will have his own viewpoint. By this part of the story, you may have come to the same conclusion that I came to last summer after we had been separated for a few months. I am dealing with a covert narcissist (my opinion only, of course). And let me tell ya…that is a slippery slope no one wants to go down. I started learning, I started researching, and I was relentless in my quest for answers…cause I had no clue what was going on with me. I kicked this man out of my house, I was tired of the constant turmoil of highs and lows, never having a constant secure feeling in the relationship…so why was I wanting him back? But once I thought about it…I didn’t want him back, but maybe I did…no, I don’t want to go back to the way it was…or do I? These were my thoughts on repeat and I couldn’t wrap my head around it nor why my emotions were all over the map. Then I learned what trauma bonds were, I learned about triangulation, gaslighting, manipulations, love bombing, hoovering, and devaluing. I must admit…I did not like what I was learning, but I was determined to kick that can down the road. And in the far distance, I could see a new horizon that would be bringing peace and laughter once again. I took my brother’s concerns to heart after a few weeks of pondering on his words in January of last year. I ultimately decided to ask my husband to stay with a family member on his days off for a little bit so I could be alone and figure my own feelings out. I was waking up, but still felt as if I needed to fix this debacle. In the next post, we will talk about how that “break” worked out and what transpired for the next few months. FYI: From here on out, this story is about to give movie worthy. Oh, the plot twists that are coming…

The post The Slow Walk Before Waking Up first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post The Slow Walk Before Waking Up appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

From The Beginning There Were Red Flags

Beverly — Fri, 13 Jan 2023 15:56:05 +0000

It was a normal January night and I was in Mom mode, but a chance meeting was about to turn my life in a direction I never saw coming. Stars filled the night sky, the weather was perfect, and I was loading one child up in the SUV and on my way to pick up my oldest child from his friend’s house. As I pulled in front of the house, my son came to my window and told me his friend’s father wanted to speak with me. I immediately knew this was not going to be a pleasant meeting…we all know how young boys can push the envelope. So I prepared myself and got into the “I’m so sorry and I will definitely handle this” mindset. I took a few deep breaths as the father walked to my window and as I was rolling it down, my heart took a slight leap as I sat there looking into the eyes of one of the most handsome men I had ever seen. I can still remember to this day how those dark eyes grabbed my attention, the cap he wore, the hoodie he was wearing, and how he fumbled his words as he tried to talk. I could barely make out the point he was trying to make, and how he could barely look me in the eyes as he repeated his words over and over. Immediately I could tell he was attracted to me. He was nervous and instead of letting me have it about how the boys were being boys…he turned into a caring father who suddenly was making sure he was there to help. It was a short conversation, but that night, that chance meeting would set my life on a course that I was not prepared for. I thought about him on and off for the next few months and then one day, I happened to cross paths with this man once again. This time…the whirlwind of a new relationship would spring forth and my life as I knew it would be a vague memory. I pushed back and kept my distance, trying to take my time and after a few weeks of calls, emails, and texts we finally decided to meet in person. Before we met in person, everything seemed to be just like any other new relationship starting out, no red flags, no reservations, and no reason to have any hesitation. Our first meeting was while he was on lunch, it was just a quick meet and greet and we would be on our way. As we made small talk about jobs, kids, and how we grew up – I was totally unprepared for this man to lean over and kiss me. My first thought was…”bold move” because he had not earned that – he just took it. Nevertheless, my stomach was turning flips, my nerves were shaken, and he had just taken the reigns of this new budding relationship right out of my hands and I was hooked. We said our goodbyes and you could tell we were both floating on cloud nine. As we parted ways, I could not stop smiling and from that moment on…I was on a high I had never felt before and I mistook this high for love…but it would prove to be something entirely different. He was not like other men I had met over the years. He was mysterious keeping his intimate life very secretive, only speaking about his work life, how he strived to work hard, and all his accomplishments. Vaguely telling how he had been hurt in the past and how it seemed the women in his life were the problem, how they used him and discarded him like he was nothing. Determined to restore his reputation in the community, he started opening up about the previous few years and how he had made a mistake in marrying his prior wife; he was looking for a “southern faith-filled woman”, but he got swept up in the partying scene with his last relationship. He made it clear he had jumped the gun in that marriage trying to recover from his divorce from the mother of his children. At this stage of his life, he was slowly trying to rebuild his life and reputation and it was evident that was of the utmost importance to him. He was not a pursuer, and he left me guessing about how he really felt about me. Did I read him wrong? Was he shy, or scared? Was he an extremely hardworking and busy man? He would let days go by and then I would get a call and all my worries would calm down. Wait…why was I looking for him to call? Why did I care? Why was I waiting on his call? That was not me, I was an independent woman with a college degree. Why was I putting my life on hold waiting on a man to show his interest in me? My emotions had been tapped into and the cork could not be reinserted – something had changed and I was starting to feel like a prisoner waiting on a meal that felt like it was never coming. I was willing to accept the small effort he made because when he was “present”, he always left me happy and feeling giddy and I couldn’t wait till I would get to see him again. The love bombing had begun and I had sucked it up like a Hoover vacuum. I later came to realize that he was a man that would make moves in our relationship like a man playing a chess game. Showing attention and then withdrawing was a cycle I came to settle for and ultimately crave; he was conditioning me for what was to come. In all my 40 years I had never had a man who was interested in me that would play these types of games. Games meticulously played that was meant to confuse me, withdrawing while giving me the silent treatment or ignoring me and then sweeping in to pour out huge doses of attention and love. What was this doing to me? It was conditioning my brain to crave the highs and lows so I would chase the rush I got from his attention. I needed the rush of dopamine in my brain to give me a high and I found myself searching for the highs, so when there were lows or “problems” in the relationship I would immediately fixate on making things better even if it wasn’t my fault. I became a master at apologizing, comforting him, and making sure he knew my love was eternal. It was like I was chasing the next high, just like a heroin addict. My mind had become a storage unit of discombobulation. This was slowly chiseling away at my self-esteem and I didn’t have a clue. Were these games he was playing? Was he only guarding his heart? Looking back on those early months of the relationship it was all about him and I was putty in his hands. It was exhausting keeping up and I stayed in a state of confusion and uncertainty about where we were and where we were headed. But then things changed. All of a sudden I was the one he had been looking for his entire life, the one who completed him, the one he could not let get away, his soul-mate, and he wasted no time putting a ring on my finger within a few months of meeting him. But I was starting to see cracks and the red flags were starting to become more apparent, and even though these red flags were waving high in the sky, I chose to ignore them and once again I gobbled up his excuses and focused on how I felt around him. I could not sleep, I could not eat, I was falling harder and deeper for him and I could not hide it. But was I really falling for him or had the trap been set and I fell directly into his plan? So what were a few of the red flags I noticed? As I said earlier, he was not like any man I had ever met. Even though he had been divorced for years, he still was connected to his ex-wife and there were no children involved. Even living in their old home while she was overseas. He had an excuse for that of course…he always had an excuse. They were merely friends and he was taking care of the home while she was away. His friends and his vacations took precedence over our time together, going so far as bringing his sister on a planned beach trip for the two of us and our kids. His excuse was he felt sorry for her being alone, but in reality, it was another chess move to keep me in a state of feeling confused about his feelings for me, and I fell right in line to give him all the adoration he desired. At times I started to feel like I was only there as a showpiece, someone that was younger who was stroking his ego and that’s when I started to pull back. As I pulled back, he came in hot and strong determined to marry me. He was insecure and jealous and if I tried to reassure him, he would deny any insecurities and make the issues my problem, then the silent treatment would come. By this time I was so far in, getting out felt impossible. In fact, getting out was never even a thought; only making him happy and doing what I could to wash away his insecurities was all that was on my mind. The idealization or love bombing stage had now moved into the devaluation stage mingling back and forth together and I had no clue that I was even in this type of situation. These were just hiccups in a new romance; things needed to be ironed out and all would be fine…well, that’s what I told myself. I never even thought that I was in the early stages of a storm and I was blindly walking into it with a smile on my face and a pep in my step. Even though there were small nudges deep inside me to slow down, to breathe, to step back and reevaluate this new romance, I moved forward and ignored them. Were these nudges from the Lord? How could that be? He checked so many boxes of what I wanted in a partner, and yes there were “obstacles”, but I was in love in a way I had never felt before. Little did I know the obstacles would grow and the love bombing would become more intense. I was on a fast track to destruction and love, and it was packaged in a pretty little box with a bow on top, and I was more than eager to accept it. Ignorance is bliss and I was in bliss, disregarding my gut instincts, completely turning away from the red flags with my head buried in the sand. But at what cost? The lid on this box had only been cracked and the storm I was walking into was picking up speed! *As always, this was written as my own opinion

The post From The Beginning There Were Red Flags first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post From The Beginning There Were Red Flags appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

Coffee & Girl Talk

Beverly — Sun, 19 May 2019 05:20:08 +0000

Happy Sunday! I hope your weekend has been a wonderful one! We are back home, Barry is gone to work and I have been washing clothes -you girls know how I feel about washing clothes LOL! It’s so nice when you get it done and you can actually put that aside for 12 minutes – then here we go again HAHA! I’ve been thinking about what I wanted to write about today and I keep going back to sacrifice. We sacrifice daily for our families, friends, spouses, giving to charitable causes and so much more. I got to thinking about what it means to sacrifice when you are a Christian. I tithe, I give to others when I can ( I love to give – it makes me feel good), I put aside times in my daily routine to spend time in the Bible (not like I should, but I am working on it), and prayer time. I was laying on the couch at the beach, Barry had already fallen asleep and I thought what do I sacrifice for him? He sacrifices daily for us, he always makes sure we have, he does most of the grocery shopping, he will run errands when I need him too. Overall he sacrifices more than I do at times. I know marriage is a give and take and sometimes marriage is not quite the fairy tale we thought it would be. I thought about these small sacrifices we all do each day, but it will never compare to the sacrifice Jesus made for all of us. It says for us to be more like Him, even in the small things. People notice these “little things” and why is that important? Because the non-believer can see Jesus in us. So slow down, open that door for a stranger (even if they don’t say thank you), let a car in when things are backed up, pay it forward when you buy your meal, it’s the little things that just may touch someone. And that’s when God can swoop in and use that gesture to plant a seed in their heart. It sounds so simple, but those little things can be used by God. And that is what we want- we want God to use us, whether it is small or big. I notice the things about Barry that totally get on my last nerve all the time HA! Rarely do I tell him the little things I notice that he does that mean so much to me. I think that may be from being married so long and we get comfortable and used to each other – or maybe I’m just lazy in giving him thanks. I laid there on that couch and made a promise to myself, I would tell him something positive daily. (I wonder how long it will be before he notices it??? – I will let you girl know LOL). They say these type of things are contagious, so if I can spread something – I will spread love and gratitude! Have a happy Sunday ladies – do you find yourself thinking like this? Getting comfortable and not saying anything because it’s the “norm”? It’s so easy to not say anything, to not say hello to strangers, but it is so gratifying to show someone they mean something and they matter! To be sure I can do this at least once a day HA! All kidding aside, I think it will build stronger relationships, so I am going to try this positive reinforcement with the kids too! Brooklyn already gets all this, so she is good!! LOL!!!! Talk to you later girl! Thanks for stopping by the blog and have a safe and relaxing Sunday!! DON’T MISS A POST! Subscribe to get email updates! In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive an exclusive newsletter, and a sneak peek behind the scenes with family pictures, etc. — all delivered right to your inbox. POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN. FOR MORE INFORMATION ON WHAT THAT MEANS, SEE MY ABOUT PAGE: BLOG COMPENSATION AND DISCLOSURE.

The post Coffee & Girl Talk first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post Coffee & Girl Talk appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The Greatest Gift We Can Give Our Children…

Beverly — Sun, 12 May 2019 05:00:25 +0000

Happy Mother’s Day to everyone! I hope all you ladies are having a wonderful day and are getting pampered! I am spending the day with my kids then later on I’m going over to see my Mom. For those of you that your kids aren’t near you, or your Mom has gone from this world to Heaven, I want to personally tell you Happy Mother’s Day! I am fortunate to still have my Mom with me, Barry lost his mother some years ago and I know this day is always hard for him and I’m sure it is a difficult day for some of you. I think back on all those sleepless nights I sat up with children that were sick. Taking off work because of my child needing to go to the doctor, dentist, or simply needing to take a sick day. The nights I have prayed and worried when they were out with their friends that God would protect them from any harm. All the many times I prayed that God would save their soul and keep them from a devil’s Hell. How I failed at times to be that Mom that was always there because I was working two jobs to put food on the table. How many baseball games, award ceremonies did I miss? How many nights did I come in late and start washing clothes or picking up around the house just so my children would have a clean and organized home? We make sacrifices they will not understand until they are much older. I think about the nights I would get up in the middle of the night and walk to their rooms and peek in to make sure they were ok. The times I would start saving money in the summer so I could give them a huge Christmas. How many times did I talk with them about Jesus, the coming of the Lord, what happens if the rapture takes place and they don’t make it. What being a sinner really is and the cost of not living for the Lord. All these things flood my mind. Did I do what God intended for me to do? Did I succeed or did I fail? The one thing in this world that I found the most joy in was my children. My greatest accomplishment, the two little beings that gave me purpose. And even though I was here to lead them, guide them and keep them safe – they are the blessing God sent that actually saved me, gave me purpose, made me laugh, made me cry, gave me wrinkles and headaches. I always carried a fear of losing my children and it only increased when Chase was a teenager and I kept seeing children dying from drug overdoses, wrecks, suicide…it kept me on edge constantly. I can remember when I first got saved and Chase was only 2 years old, oh how I worried about that child, I was in constant prayer that God would take him when he was ready. I would write my prayers down in a journal and I remember telling the Lord if he’s not going to serve you, take him when he’s small so he would go to heaven. I loved him so much that I was willing to live my life in sorrow just so he would walk through heaven’s gate. I meant that prayer for both my children and as each year passed I was on edge – was this the year? Then it hit me, that I had faith that God would somehow touch my children and one way or another both children would make it to heaven. I don’t worry anymore – I know God never fails and I know those kids of mine will go to heaven when it is their time. I gave them both back to Him and I trust in Him! Out of all the things Moms do, the sacrifices we make, there is no greater gift than to teach your children who Jesus is, teach them how to pray, teach them constantly what God is and be an example in front of them. As I have gotten older my prayer now is that God helps me be the Mom they have faith in, a Mom that can get a prayer to the Throne of God. A Mom that can stand in the gap for them when times are bad and a Mom that can teach them to be thankful when God has blessed them. I know many of you Mothers have walked the same path that I have, you were raised by Christian parents who taught you all these things. I’ve heard you talk about how grateful you were that God chose you to be their child. I am grateful God chose to place me in my Mother’s womb, a woman that loved me unconditionally, always prayed for me, taught me how to pray, taught me how to be more understanding in life. And taught me how to be a better Mom to my children. You are all a gift to your children from God, he has placed a precious gift into your hands to love and mold. Thank you to all the Moms today, step-moms, aunts, dog moms, grandmother’s – you are all a blessing from the Lord up above and I hope you all have a wonderful day. I wrote about a few of the things I dealt with as a Mom, but I’m sure we all have a story to be told. There is no other love on this Earth that can compare and I do believe the next level of love is the love of God himself. Enjoy your day and know you are loved, appreciated, needed, and are a blessing to your children and grandchildren. DON’T MISS A POST! Subscribe to getemail updates! In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive an exclusive newsletter, and a sneak peek behind the scenes with family pictures, etc. — all delivered right to your inbox. POST CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. ALL OPINIONS ARE MY OWN. FOR MORE INFORMATION ON WHAT THAT MEANS, SEE MY ABOUT PAGE: BLOG COMPENSATION AND DISCLOSURE.

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The post The Greatest Gift We Can Give Our Children… appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

Coffee & Girl Talk

Beverly — Sun, 14 Apr 2019 05:38:00 +0000

Happy Sunday everyone! I hope you have grabbed your coffee and are having a great morning! I started writing my Sunday post Saturday night and stopped at 11:54 pm and saved it as a draft for later. I walked away from it and knew that was not where God wanted me to go today – I literally could feel the Lord moving me to a post that has been lingering in the back of my mind for 2 weeks now. When I say “feel God moving me”, I’m talking- I’m tearing up as I write this first paragraph. A few Sunday’s ago I wrote a praise report about how well the blog has been doing since October of last year. I told about how I talk with God at the first of the month and set my goals with him and how he has come through each month. Not only reaching the goal but surpassing it. How I would look at the analytics and be amazed at how he is working in my life. Literally the next day -my numbers plummeted. Let me explain how blog posts work. I get the majority of my traffic from Pinterest, most bloggers do. I have had 3-5 blog posts that went viral, which means I was getting thousands of people from Pinterest pinning a blog and people all around the world were seeing it and clicking on it to read. For all those viral blog posts ( ten thousand and more views a month) to suddenly stop in one day is quite frankly odd. I can see one or two slowing down – but dropping by tens of thousands is something to ponder on. The first week of April, I thought ok…the Lord is going to come in and show me how mighty he is and we are going to hit those goals. Day after day I could feel my faith start dwindling. I would have thoughts like, well, 40K views a month is still really good. Then I would catch myself and say, No Beverly – this is a test of faith. Because I truly believe God can do all things. And the Bible tells me if we ask and believe, it shall be given to us. If 2 or more agree in his name, it so shall happen! I believe that 200%! Do I feel the devil is breathing down my neck? Oh Lord YES! Tania from 50 Is Not Old, text me Saturday morning and we talked for over an hour and a half. Of course, we talked about her trip, Rodan+Fields, our lives, and blogging. She always has such great insight and fires me up again – she has become a sister that I can confide in and definitely has been placed in my life by God. After our long talk, I did feel better – but still in the back of my mind think this is a spiritual thing. I may be wrong, but I am leaning towards this because the devil has fought me so hard in my life – I know he’s not giving up and leaving me alone! Nor will he leave you alone either. Luke 17:6, Jesus tells His disciples, “If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, ‘Be uprooted and planted in the sea,’ and it will obey you.” By using the uncommonly small mustard seed as an example, Jesus is speaking figuratively about the incalculable power of God when unleashed in the lives of those with true faith. I LOVE the scripture I just posted and I love the incalculable power of God and what He can do when we have true faith. People say to speak what you want and it has power. The Bible says there is life and death in the tongue. We know that if we belittle and abuse our spouse, children, etc. with words that constantly put them down – they are prone to believe it and therefore it becomes real. So, I wanted to confront this issue that has perplexed me and call it out. I want to have faith like God wants us to have. I want to obey the Lord and I want to be able to fight spiritually against the forces of evil. Even if it is over a blog, obviously this blog has brought many Christian women together and that is never what the devil would want to happen. I truly believe that we all have things in our lives that can bring doubt and it can creep in and it can waiver our faith. I’m stripping down and letting you girls in on this struggle I am having spiritually. I know I can talk to you girls and most of you understand exactly what I am talking about. Others may think I’m a “Jesus freak”, and you know what…I sure AM!!! Without Him, I would be dead right now, without Him, my child would be dead, without Him I cannot function daily. So YES…I will lean of God and I know He has his hand on my life – every part of my life. One of my favorite songs is, “I Can’t Even Walk Without Him Holding My Hand.” There is truth in that song, I learned how to stand down on my knees. This may be a test, it may be the devil fighting against a Christian speaking out about God. It could be a variety of things, whatever the reason -I will not falter. Ladies, if you are going through something and your faith has been shaken – I KNOW EXACTLY how you feel. I know the struggle, the inner fight, how worry creeps in. Stop!!!! Trust in the God that made the Earth, Trust in the God who has never left your side, Trust in the God that loved you so much that he gave his life so that you may have everlasting life. Believe that you are his child, and just like we want to see our children succeed and we would help them any way we can – so will GOD! He knows your struggles, he knows your hurt, he knows the obstacles in your life. Do not let doubt sneak its way into your life. That is the devil trying to steal your blessing! I have a lot of Christian girlfriends that follow the blog and I know you pray for me and my family and I want you to know that I call your name out in prayer also. I am thankful for each and every one of you. You have impacted my life in such a huge manner. I cannot express my gratitude for your friendships! God promised in His word things that can be hard for us to believe, but ladies – we are all on this blog for a reason. You girls prayed for my daughter, you have prayed for me and I pray for you all. I think we may just scare the devil a tad bit! Though we may be states apart, or even countries apart, we are connected through this blog and us ladies can take advantage of Matthew 18:19. Matthew 18:19 – “Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven.” Ladies – this is a powerful scripture that can be invoked because God cannot lie. So today, I am asking that we comment below ( just an “I have a need”) and we ladies of faith can start our own Sunday prayer chain. We can be used by God for people all over the United States and even the world – all through a little conservative fashion blog. I feel like there are women out there that can use some other women praying for them. We all come from different walks of life, but we all are human, and wouldn’t it be nice to get to heaven and someone walks up to you and say – I am HERE because YOU Gave to the Lord! Thank you for stopping by the blog, thank you for your comments, and thank you for your friendships! I talk to some of you girls every day and have come to look forward to hearing about your lives. You ladies have a great day!! I want you to see that everything is not rosy in my life, I have fears, doubts and struggle with faith at times too. But, the one thing I know—-praying women are a force! I grew up watching the women in my church pray with and for each other and I still believe he hears and moves today – just as much as he did back in our younger days sitting in church. God bless you ladies!! Please comment below and know that I commit myself to agree with you and I will be praying for you. No matter if it is a small thing or a life-changing thing. That’s what Love is all about! XOXO

The post Coffee & Girl Talk first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post Coffee & Girl Talk appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

If We Only Had a Beeper

Beverly — Sun, 03 Feb 2019 06:00:31 +0000

Happy Sunday girls! I hope your weekend is going well and you have rested up, had fun and all that good stuff. I’m sitting here typing out my blog while Brooklyn, my granddaughter, has been jumping around like a little toad frog lol!! Proof below! That mouth wide open…LOL! How do kids have all this energy bottled up inside them? Boy has she kept me hopping this weekend. I think she might be going through a growth spurt also because the ole girl has eaten and eaten and eaten some more. Then we have the 2 dogs – Barry and I have Ziva, the Princess Goldendoodle, and my son’s dog, Kilo is here. Kilo is still a puppy, a Pitbull mix, and dear LORD that dog is a handful! If my son knew I was blogging about him today, I don’t think he would be smiling, to say the least. LOL He’s a very private young man…Thank God he doesn’t read my blog haha!! Kilo is a very smart dog, but he is very curious. He likes to roam around, look at everything, climb up and sit with you, especially if there are only 2 inches for him to sit! And let’s not forget he likes to tear up a shoe or two here and there. I don’t know why that dog likes my shoes, but he is bound and determined to chew up a pair…and, not an old pair! Do any of you have dogs act like this? Ziva is the exact opposite, she’s easy going, will hug you like a human, lay beside you and only plays with her toys. Personally, I think I trained mine better than he did… don’t tell him! (I’m inserting a SNICKER and a GIGGLE HERE) I’ve grown to love this grand-dog – it took a little time since he’s torn up about 5 pairs of shoes, but we overcome our obstacles and are little buddies now! I’ve learned to keep my closet door closed and my bedroom door locked at all times since he can open the door (we don’t have round doorknobs – but we have LOCKS)…sighhh! We are trying to train him to stop messing with things and only play with his toys, so we bought a beeper to go on his neck. We have to beep it when he gets close to things he should not and he comes back and is doing really well with this method. Surprisingly! I was watching him today as he was about to pounce on a Barbie Brooklyn had been playing with and I beeped the little control and he came towards me and laid down at my feet. It got me to thinking, it sure would be nice if we all had beepers and God could beep us when we were about to step out of line. I know we are cautioned internally and have “gut” feelings we tend to follow, but a loud BEEP would have been really nice at certain times of my life. Who wouldn’t want a “do over” on a few things?? Then I got to thinking just how fortunate we all are, that we can make a mess and somehow God can make Beauty out of Ashes! He can turn something horrible completely around to work in our favor. A door can shut and He can open another one in an instant. I know over the years I have certainly learned to lean on Him in the tough times and looking back on my life, I am glad I was able to go through those storms. If I had not gone through those trials (and some felt like an eternity), I would not know the magnitude of Him! Nor the love he has for me. Just like we as parents want to keep our kids on the straight and narrow, we still have to let them mess up and learn from their mistakes. No matter what is going on in your life, He can help sustain you and hold you up through tough times. Lean on Him, for He is an ever-present help in trouble. I keep this verse on my desktop, to always remind me. Isaiah 40:29 “He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak.” Oddly, the verse above was in my devotion this morning – so I had to put it in the blog today. I have met so many fellow Sisters in Christ over the past few days, I can only thank the Lord for surrounding me with such wonderful women. I know you are scattered all of the country and some in different countries, but I am loving every minute blogging and talking with you girls! I hope you all have a wonderful Sunday and are blessed beyond measure! I’m off to worship this morning and spend my last day with Brooklyn for a few days. See you girls on the blog tomorrow! Be sure to Subscribe to the blog if you haven’t and please share the blog with your friends, as I am trying to grow my followers. And don’t be shy about pinning items to your Pinterest Boards, that helps me grow also! Thank you again for stopping by and hope you all have a safe and wonderful day! Be sure to follow along on Pinterest, Facebook, or my favorite –Instagram!! This post contains affiliate links. When you shop through my links, it helps support my business (at no additional cost to you) so thank you!

The post If We Only Had a Beeper first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

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Coffee and Girl Talk

Beverly — Sun, 04 Nov 2018 14:32:08 +0000

Happy Sunday everyone! I can believe how fast time has flown by this year, it’s getting close to Christmas! It’s been a busy week for me and today hopefully we can just rest and relax. Our little Brooklyn came over and spent the weekend with us, I love it when she is here. She feels the house with giggles and silliness – takes me back to when my kids were smaller and all the fun things we did. In a way it makes me feel younger – nothing like looking at the world through the eyes of a three-year-old to remind you to slow down and enjoy each day and see the beauty in everything. Check out that little smile (don’t look at my mess in the kitchen haha). I think we all have a tendency to get caught up in our “busy” lives and we don’t stop to smell the roses! She certainly has made a huge impact on me, she brought silliness back into my life and with that came more laughter. So, we laughed all weekend LOL!! If you follow me on Facebook, then you know that I am totally pumped up about Christmas this year. I am biting at the bit, wanting to put my Christmas tree up and start decorating! Be sure to follow along on Pinterest to see all the decorating ideas I’m posting for Christmas!! I’m looking for new ideas for decorating and of course, I’m looking ideas for yummy Christmas cookies and other goodies. I have a feeling we are all going to be dieting come the first of the year! But – it is so worth it! I love the holidays! You ladies that are local remember that Jernigans’ Nursery & Trading Post has their Annual Christmas Open House this Thursday on the 8th! It’s going to be the biggest “shindig” in Harnett County, so I can’t wait to see everyone! Live music, food, giveaways and more…I can’t wait to get in there and shop some! ( I know this blog is read all over, so if you want to check out the place I spend most of my days go to www.jernigansonline.com and take a peek) Last but not least, I want to throw in a praise report! Over the past week, I have seen God move in such a miraculous way that I have stood in pure amazement watching him. My blog is fairly new and I really feel this is where God wanted me all along -I just got started late cause I wasn’t listening to Him. The traffic on my blog has always been pretty good and steady, but this past month it has quadrupled and both, Barry and I have watched and stood there with our mouths wide open. WOW! So, I want to tell everyone Thank You for visiting the site and following along!! I have found so many new friends from all around the world, I have truly been blessed!! You all have made this fun and such an exciting ride and I love the ideas you have given me to blog about! I love your feedback!! Later today I will be posting How to Style a Cape, these are trending this season and they are everywhere! I see all kinds, the Full cape that goes over your head, open in the front like a wrap, shirt capes – I saw all kinds yesterday when I went shopping for my outfits this week. All I can say, you are in for a treat! This weeks fashion blog is going to be awesome! Workwear, casual wear and date night! Brooklyn has just tiptoed down the hall, so I must come to an end and get her breakfast! Ladies, thank you! Be blessed and we will chat later!! XOXO If you want to shop my Store and Looks Click Here Beverly DON’T MISS A POST! Subscribe to get email updates! In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive exclusive newsletter content like special sales, my newest favorite finds, and an occasional peek behind the scenes — all delivered right to your inbox. This post contains affiliate links. When you shop through my links, it helps support my business (at no additional cost to you) so thank you!

The post Coffee and Girl Talk first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post Coffee and Girl Talk appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

Sunday Coffee and Girl Talk

Beverly — Sun, 09 Sep 2018 12:00:28 +0000

Good morning everyone! I have been behind the eightball this past week, suffering from “cluster migraines”. Never have I experienced migraines like this, it certainly slowed my week down and I definitely didn’t get anything accomplished that I had planned on. Personally, I hate weeks like that, everything seems so jumbled up, nothing goes right, you just want to go to bed and hope its better when you wake up! HA! I can only wish!!! So, those of you that wanted to get in the group “My Closet”, this will be going strong Monday night and I hope you all can watch the video and pick you out something you like – at a cheap price! I have been looking at clothes, shoes, and handbags and I have quite a bit with tags on it. I have a HUGE amount of clothes that may have been worn once, I think the term is “gently used”. This should be a fun time with the girls, just kick back with a cup of coffee and watch the videos and pick out what you want. I will even ship the clothes!! If you looked at the pictures above and liked them, well – have I got a surprise for you! I have partnered with JBloom Designs and I will be featuring this jewelry line on my blog. I will show you pieces and how to wear them together or alone. You will be able to “shop the look” straight from the blog and I will also be featuring “what I wore”. You will be able to shop the entire look! We have been very busy partnering with Boutiques and Popular Women’s Clothing Stores to offer you the best prices and the latest trends!! We wanted to make everything easy for our followers when “shopping a look”, so we look forward to kicking this off next week as well. Back to coffee talk, we had our little Brooklyn over this weekend and she was a delight as usual. Seems like the house was full of laughter, doors flying open, dogs barking – you moms know what I’m talking about! I think Barry ran down to the bedroom to retreat so he could get a little bit of alone time. That never lasts when Brooklyn is here, when she wants to talk to her Paw Paw, she barrels right through the door, hops on the bed and does her thing! I love it and I know Barry loves it too! I can hear him all the way down at the other end of the house, laughing and carrying on with this bundle of love we call Brooklyn. Other news going on here, Raegan is starting a new job soon and she is over the moon excited! Mom is too!! lol She just went back to school and will be working part-time, I’m sure her schedule is going to be packed after a summer at home. She’s even looking into JBloom Designs to see if that is something she would like to do. Anyone who has been in direct sales has a tendency to stay in it and this would be ideal for her. I must say, this is a Christian based company and I have been very impressed with the “look” of the jewelry. Keep an eye out and you will see what I’m talking about. Eeeeekkkkkk! I’m so excited! I’m off to church to get my “praise” on, talk with my Lord and enjoy some fellowship. You girls have a great Sunday and if you like these blogs, all the fashion and hair posts, Follow Along on Pinterest. I would love to have you onboard! See you soon!! Beverly DON’T MISS A POST! Subscribe to get email updates! In addition to my most recent blog posts, you’ll receive exclusive newsletter content like special sales, my newest favorite finds, and an occasional peek behind the scenes — all delivered right to your inbox. PLUS you’ll be automatically entered for a chance to win a $50 gift card each month, so don’t miss it! This post contains affiliate links. When you shop through my links, it helps support my business (at no additional cost to you) so thank you!

The post Sunday Coffee and Girl Talk first appeared on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

The post Sunday Coffee and Girl Talk appeared first on Beverly Ennis Hoyle.

Overcoming Storms of Life

Beverly — Sat, 11 Aug 2018 02:52:23 +0000

I am on social media quite a bit during the day, researching products or interacting with customers and friends. And the one thing I keep seeing in my News Feed is people either going through a storm, coming out of a storm or they seem to have everything together and life is good. And if you’re in neither of the two states of a storm, then you are about to go through one, no matter what, you can count on a bump in the road and the devil throwing you a curve ball. Life never seems to stop for awhile and let you breathe. It seems once you get over a hurdle, it’s only a short while before something else pops up. It’s almost like life wants to drag you down this lonesome road of sorrow and keep bashing you in the head. It never lets up! Lord knows I’ve had my share of “bumps in the road”, I’ve talked about a few of them in my blogs. Just so you guys know that I really do understand life’s turmoil I’m going to recap. I’ve been cheated on, lied on, had three miscarriages all at 5 months, stalked by more than one nut, had a husband with cancer that passed away, married a wife beater that is in jail on Attempted Murder charges on his current wife, saw two husbands lose their sons either to suicide or an overdose, fought endlessly for my own child and I could keep going, but this sentence just turned into a paragraph! I have had close friends that I could talk to during the trials and tribulations, which helped, but it wasn’t enough! I talk about my issues and laugh things off, I make jokes about what is going on and try to pick myself up by the boot straps and make it one more day. So if I wasn’t at work talking to friends, I was at home talking to my mom or my brother. It always felt like the more I talked about my problems, the easier it was to let it go and move on. I know time heals all wounds, so they say, but that isn’t necessary the truth. If hurt is deep enough it can become overbearing and always be in your thoughts. I’ve talked about my faith and how God has carried me through the worst times of my life and I’m very proud of where He has brought me. Did I want to learn how to depend on the Lord by traveling the road I took? NO! I had dreams and wants for my life, I had all intentions of getting married and having a family and living happily ever after. Did that happen? NO! Did I intend on putting my life out on the web for everyone to read about all my mistakes? Be vulnerable? Write down everything that has brought me pain so that it may help others? Ummm…no! No, no, no! Seriously now, it’s embarrassing that I chose to go down certain roads in life and they brought me to a horrible and unthinkable situation. I asked the Lord more than one time…..WHY????? Why me????? Why did my dad have to die so young? Why did I lose three babies? Why couldn’t I have a great husband and be married for 20 or 30 years? Why did my child abuse drugs? Oh yeah, I pondered these things a lot. I walk a lot and over the years I have used that time to talk with the Lord and really form a relationship with God. When I say form a relationship with the Lord, I’m not just talking. I’m serious, you have to read your Bible, you have to pray and talk with the Lord daily. You have to trust in him, you have to get as close to Him as you possibly can. You have to know what the Bible actually means and you have to know how to fight the devil on a spiritual level. We have way too many people saying “I’m praying for you” and then they turn around and they are out clubbing posting pictures on Facebook. I’m not saying there is anything wrong with that, but I personally don’t have a lot of faith in someone that isn’t showing me in their life that they are sold out to the Lord. Now, how do I get through the storms of life? How do I mend this broken heart and build my life back up? How do I get past losing a child? You may never…………you will always have scars where the hurt was, but you will be able to take steps towards a “new” normal for you. Time does help mend your heart and time does give us a chance to start each day anew, but how do you get joy again? How do you socialize with friends and family and not show the hurt you feel? How do you pull yourself out of the funk you are in and actually get out of the house? How do you transition your life to a new normal? It takes determination and it’s going to take some Jesus! I could have never gotten through one test or trial unless God was by my side. At times I would think he had forsaken me, he wasn’t listening, my prayers were null and void. I felt all the prayers in the world were doing nothing! I would read my Bible, go to church, pray daily, talk with the Lord like he was sitting right beside me and yet…..I saw nothing happening. Now…….step back for a moment……..I did make it through – remember? I wanted relief right now, right when I asked…or at least in the next few weeks! No, I had to wait on God’s timing, for his timing is perfect. Trust me, I was wanting relief from an abusive husband ASAP! It came nine years later in a manner only God could have been in the midst of. He was controlling the entire situation and he was right there…..and I trusted him! Now, as I was dealing with these things, how did I overcome? My way may not be your way, so this may or may not be for you. I found over the years as I would walk and pray, I would start praising the Lord. I literally lift my hands up and praised the Lord! Mind you, I was at the park on the backside of the walking trail alone, but that’s what I did and what I do – still to this day! I am motivated by music, so I listen to gospel songs that really hit my heart and it won’t take long before I feel the spirit of the Lord and I will start to cry. I don’t cry because I’m sad, I don’t cry because I miss my dad, I don’t cry over the mistakes I’ve made, I don’t cry over anything. The tears that fill my eyes are because I am humbled by the Lord, I am appreciative of what he did for me at Calvary, I am thankful that he watches over me and guides my path! I cry because the words in these songs mean something to me. I know where I was when I was lost in sin and I know where I am now and I know where I am going. This is not my home on Earth, but my home is in Heaven to spend an eternity with Jesus. As I would walk listening to these gospel songs and I’d start talking with the Lord in my mind, the tears will start to roll down my cheeks and I know the He is right there with me. He loves me so much that no matter what, he will always be watching over me. I look at my own children and that’s a love that is undeniable and unexplainable and yet – God’s love for us is so much more than that. He cares for us, each one of us to a level we cannot even fathom. I am nothing but a sinner, I am not worthy of his love, I am not worthy of Jesus dying on the cross sacrificing for all. I am nothing but another grain of sand on the beach and yet…….His eye never leaves me nor you! Praising the Lord is my way of acknowledging him as the Almighty God and it’s a way I can show him I love him! He knows my heart, just as you know the hearts of your children….they love you! So God knows I love him, but when your child comes over and hugs you and says I love you Mom….that means so much more to a parent! So why wouldn’t I show God that I love him? The Bible says when the praises go up the glory comes down. Personally, I like it when the glory comes down! I want to be hit with it as if it was pouring out of heaven right on me! The only way I made it through the darkest moments of my life was through prayer, praising the Lord and learning to stand still and let God do his thing in His timing. The first two things were easy, it’s the last thing that is hard. Be Still…… I can’t be still…I was constantly trying to figure out a way to “fix” my own life. STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don’t try to fix it, just stop and let go. Let go and let God do His work in your life. Praise Him, Pray to Him and Wait on Him! That is the only way I got through each and every storm of my life. That one night when I was 26 years old and I got on my knees and asked the Lord to forgive me of all my sins he changed me right then and there! I asked God to take control of my life and there were many times that I tried to run my own life and that is when I made the huge mistakes. Lean on Him……no matter how hard it gets…..persevere! xoxo [apsp-follow-button]

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The Hidden Hurt People Hide…

Beverly — Sat, 21 Jul 2018 04:46:31 +0000

I was scrolling through my social media feeds the other day and I ran across post after post of some type of hurt people were dealing with. Reading the posts really touched my heart and made me think about my own life, but then I ran across this one video…a video that brought tears to my eyes…. This video was of a friend of mine walking and sharing her thoughts with her FB friends. She didn’t divulge any information of her problems other than she was really under a lot of stress and she felt like she was about to break. Like have a breakdown…we all have those moments right? I certainly have had my share when I thought I could not go on another day without something changing! I listened to her voice tremble, her trying to hold back the tears and my heart bled for this woman. I could not get that video out of my mind for the rest of the morning, I silently would say a prayer for her and move along my day with my chores. Later that day I went on my walk with Ziva, I usually listen to secular music that has some beat or thump to it to get me going…but that day I decided to hit up my gospel playlist. Ziva and I started out on our 2 mile walk and before long I found myself back in prayer for this woman. I really did not know this woman well, more like an acquaintance, so her words on her video touched my very deeply for it to still be in the forefront of my mind! As I walked with Ziva and as I began to pray for this lady my heart felt so heavy and I could feel that I was getting through to the Throne of God and I began to cry. (It’s like I could feel Jesus walking right there beside me listening to every word I said….when you feel that…you know you are in His presence). I walked over a mile crying, talking with the Lord and listening to my playlist. Ziva was so concerned she tried to jump up and lick me to death to comfort me….I mean I was crying…like “my eyes were going to be swollen the rest of the day” crying!!! The more I thought about that lady in the video and the posts that I see constantly on social media about the hurt people are experiencing daily, it was overwhelming. I’ve had my share of hurt, I’m at an age where most of the drama is gone and life is a slow steady pace. I know we did not have social media twenty years ago to see peoples daily struggles and achievements….so people’s trials and tribulations were well hid from the public. Now, is this a good thing to share on social platforms or a bad thing? Honestly, I don’t feel it is a bad thing. Asking for prayer or help is not a bad thing. Running people down and bullying people is…but reaching our for help is never a bad thing! You see, this woman that made the video needed prayer..sincere prayer. I saw that video for a reason and I prayed for that lady for a reason, my heart felt God for a reason, I cried in prayer for a reason. Nothing just simply happens….it is all part of God’s plan. So how many individuals walk and work among us that are not forthcoming with their struggles? I would bet A LOT!!! A lot of people don’t like to share and they keep their personal problems close to their chest…for many different reasons. So what happens to the people who are dealing with high stress, emotional issues, relationship problems, issues with children, loss of a loved one….what about them? I was one that walked around silently keeping things close to me and the only way I knew how to deal with it was to joke about it and make light of the situation, I started walking to spend time with God, to clear my mind…to get away from the hustle of life and to relax. Some people go to the gym, church, meditate, read….some people indulge in food, alcohol and drugs…..to forget the pain they feel. everyone looks some type of outlet… So how do you stop the cycle of holding all that inside and faking a smile each day? I don’t have an absolute answer for that, I can only tell you what worked for me. I started journaling when I was 26 years old. An elder in my church was talking with me and I had told him I really did not know how to pray…I just thanked God for what I had and asked for forgiveness and so on and so forth. The next week he saw me at church and gave me a journal, told me to start writing in that like I was writing a letter to my best friend. Be myself, write like I talk. So I did….I soon learned how to write my prayers out and actually having a relationship with God through my letters to Him. I learned how to express myself and how to pray for my children and my needs. I learned how to be thankful and to write to the Lord in a way that he knew I was grateful. I did this for years and I mean years! In fact, I still do it from time to time. It is the best way that I have found to cope with life. I found that writing my thoughts, fears, desires and needs down that I was releasing the stress that was inside me. This in turn made me a happier person, one who could laugh and joke around no matter how bad things got in life. Will this work for everyone? Probably not! But it certainly worked for me and I hope this article will find someone and it work for them…if only one person, then writing this was worth it! Keep your head up, never lose faith, there is always going to be seasons of trials and tribulations…then comes the morning. A bright new day, the sun after a storm…..hope…..believe…..and have faith that your day is and will be coming soon! B and B Blog This is a personal weblog. All views or opinions are not intended to malign any religion, ethnic group, club, organization, company, or individual. All content provided on this blog is opinion and for informational purposes only. The owner of this blog makes no representation to the accuracy or completeness of any information on this site or found by following any link on this site. Any views or opinions represented in this blog are personal and belong solely to the owner of B and B Blog

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