Family,  Lifestyle

Who Wants a Laugh?? Cause I Got One Coming Your Way!

OK, let’s be honest here, I totally stole this! Years back I was working with a Bank and my Boss sent me this email. And let me tell you – I know she heard me all the way in her office, giggling and snickering as I was reading it. I giggled so hard, I was in tears. I ran across this the other day and thought I would share it in a blog. In a world where everyone has gotten so serious, let’s have a chuckle! Let me prepare you, this is a joke, but boy it is spot on!!! Enjoy girls!! Happy Hump Day!

PS: If you’ve read it before, it’s worth another go round 🙂

Cat Vs. Dog — War Of The Diaries

 

 

The Dog’s Diary

8:00 am – Dog food! My favorite thing!
9:30 am – A car ride! My favorite thing!
9:40 am – A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am – Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm – Milk bones! My favorite thing!
1:00 pm – Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
3:00 pm – Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
5:00 pm – Dinner! My favorite thing!
7:00 pm – Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
8:00 pm – Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favorite thing! ( HAHAHA)
11:00 pm – Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

 

The Cat’s Diary

Day 983 of My Captivity
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates my capabilities. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a “good little hunter” I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of “allergies.” I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow, but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded. The bird must be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe. For now …

Ok, If you have ever had a cat and a dog in the house at the same time – you know this is true! Cats sit by the window, looking like they are longing to escape and go outside. While dogs, on the other hand, go crazy about everything and if you leave for 5 minutes they act like they haven’t seen you in months! HAHAHA!!

I am a dog owner of the precious Princess Ziva, a loving Goldendoodle. I don’t think I have ever shared here on my blog, but today is her day! Those dog moms know the joy of cuddling our baby pooch! The smiles she brings to me when we are riding in the golf cart, the silly things she does. All you #dogmoms ROCK ON with your babies!!!

Ladies, have a great day and I hope this little snippet of a joke made you smile!

Beverly

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