Virtual Slap: Words Hurt


A virtual slap….what does that mean. Have you ever had someone in your life, whether it be a parent, spouse, sibling, child or friend, make a snide remark and it’s as if they walked up and slapped you? Yeah, I have too. I have been reading messages and emails from different people this week asking for prayer or telling me about their life. And there has been one common theme; they are hurt from the way others perceive them or they feel like the one they loved ones have disrespected or downright insulting them.

So I got to thinking, I wonder how many people out there are hurting like this….how many kids are talked down to by their parents or friends. Then it got me to think about bullying and the problems we have there. Then I thought about the school shootings and my mind just wandered on. I couldn’t stop, my mind kept going down a different avenue of despair and hate. What if we all realized there is power in the tongue. The Bible says the there is life and death in the tongue. We are taught to verbally express our goals, if we verbally say our goals then we are more likely to achieve them. Malarkey? I don’t think so!

I believe you can “speak things into existence” so to speak. I believe you can demean a person to the point they are completely broke. I believe that we can bully a kid to the point they think the only relief they will get is to take revenge out on the predator and their associates. I believe if I tell myself that I can do something, then I tend to act upon that and push forward to reach that goal. So if we set up “awareness” days to stop bullying or “online training on ways we can encourage our staff to be the best they can be”, then why do we virtual slap the ones closest to us?

I don’t have an answer, but I do know one thing, I don’t pay any attention to those type of people. Now let’s back up, can someone close to me make a remark and it calls me to question if I’m doing what I should, am I being the best wife I can be, the best mom I can be, am I in God’s will. Yes! It surely can and I will sit there and take in those words or comments and think and ponder it till I have pure knots in my stomach. This happened to me recently and I questioned if I should be home, should I work outside the home and push my blog on the side, was I even helping others. Was I spreading my love for things such as fashion, makeup and sharing my life to the point of being so honest about it I that I was vulnerable, like totally VULNERABLE…was my faith being shared through my stories? Is this where God wants me? All these thoughts ran through my mind and then these words hit me like a big ole pillow. Do not let Satan steal your blessing, do not let him cause confusion. And at that time, I grabbed back my passion.

Words we say can take a dream someone has and tear it down in the matter of a few seconds. This is an example of just a sharp comment someone made, I can only imagine the damage of verbal abuse once it gets inside your head and soul. I was verbally abused, but not once in 9 years did I ever let him get in my head and make me think I was no one, nothing, a nobody. And boy they try, let me tell ya….they certainly try!

So as I read these messages my heart broke for these people, they needed someone to encourage them, they needed someone to stand in the gap. So I wanted to write about being KIND. MODEST. HUMBLE. MEEK. GIVING. COMPASSIONATE. LOVING. Why is this so easy to do when there is a disaster? We all come together and support everyone, no matter the race or religion. We pitch in and help where we can! Why can’t we do this day to day?

The more I thought about it, the more it stood out  – it’s called the devil folks. We let a little voice whisper in our ear and then we act upon it. We take the stress and let it build up then unleash on the ones we love. We all do this, but how do we stop? I was guilty of this, being in a bad marriage, verbally abused – working all the time, rushing with kids from school to ball games, to doctor offices and so on. It only changed in my life when I absolutely had enough of the drama. ABout 45 things started changing in my mind, I no longer cared about something that was minor. I no longer cared what other people said about me, I no longer cared if someone hurt my feelings. Instead, I started thinking WHY OR WHAT has happened in that person’s life or during the day that has made them so hateful or irritable. I tried to understand where they were coming from and once I did – all the bad vibes just rolled off my back! Let me tell you, folks, talk about getting the victory over something…WOW!!

As we get older we seem to have the mindset of “whatever”; we lived a life that has struggled, been chaotic, stressful. And as we mature with wisdom it starts to look like all those things that could get us riled up no longer matter. If I had known this when I was in my 20’s, I would have had smooth sailing my entire life. I never took what my mother or grandparents told me to heart. I fixated on a small thing and let it blow up to a huge thing. I’ve seen young couples fuss and fight over nothing, and then one will follow the other around and continue to fuss and fuss and never stop. I mean one person can walk out of the room or the house and the other follow them fussing like a puppy dog following his owner. Or they will call and call and call or text you 30 times back to back…WHY??? Why do that, you are not going to change anything, the only thing you are going to do is make things worse than they are. Step back, give space – BREATHE! Think before you speak, treat others the way you want to be treated. If someone in your life is not up to the standards you set, then cut them loose! You deserve someone who is on the same level of maturity. You deserve someone that won’t take things to the limit every time there is a misunderstanding.

When we start out making one small change in our life, maybe, just maybe it will snowball and others will do the same. Will there be World Peace? Not till Jesus comes back, but one small effort from each of us can do wonders in a home, your workplace, your friendships, etc. Stop acting like someone owes us something and start acting like we are here to help each other, love one another, be neighborly, love unconditionally and show that Jesus really does live on the inside of us. What a difference that could make!




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